The loss of a pet is traumatic. After all aren’t they a member of our family? Our society does not really understand the seriousness of grief as it relates to the pet owner. Consequently, attention to and proper space for grieving pet loss is ignored.

For most of us, our first experience with grief is usually as a child where the pet hamster, or the family pet died. Even the loss of fish can pull on a child’s heart strings. My husband’s immune system became challenged when his German Shepherd of 14 years passed away. For a year he suffered with cytomegalovirus. It actually crippled him to the extent of being off work for six months. Truth is, I believe he never afforded himself the opportunity to grieve his beloved Panda’s loss. His body ultimately provided that for him.

If you have ever suffered a pet loss, take some time now to feel the pain of the loss. Write an obituary for them. After you write their name, tell where the name came from. Instead of listing their age, describe how many years of joy and love they brought you. Tell what jobs they held around the house. Remember to list their survivors, you know, Mom and Dad, Brothers and Sisters. Describe the memorial service you had for them.

Then, write your beloved pet a letter. Tell them how some days your only happiness was their greeting you at the door. How even in their finicky ways you felt their unconditional love. Remind them how you learned to think about others and improved your tolerance and patience levels because of them. Some specific examples would be nice.

If you had to have them put down or lost them in a divorce, ask for their forgiveness and understanding in the decision you had to make. If you want another pet or have already brought a new pet home, ask for their permission to love and enjoy the new pet just as you enjoyed them. Tell them that no other pet will EVER take their place.